Updated: Dec 22, 2021
How much do you avoid and worry about being the “bad guy” in someone else’s story or reality?
It's almost Halloween and a great time to talk about villains.
When someone is judging you, do you shrink back to hide or bow up to try to fight it?
Or do you try to people-please so you don’t have to deal with any conflict from others?
“There is a space and possibility beyond all of that and it comes from the power of willingness and allowance.”
What if you never had to make yourself wrong, even when others were making you wrong?
The Power of Staying Present
You can still be present to how others may have experienced you, can still apologize if it’s required, and even choose to change your actions or the way you are being in that situation if it creates a greater possibility… all while NOT making yourself wrong, terrible, awful.
When you go into blame, shame, regret, guilt you’re not able to be present in the situation. It becomes bigger, more dramatic, and more traumatic than it needs to be.
So what do you do when that energy is hot in your world?
Ask: “What if I was willing to be the villain here?” This question brings you out of resistance to the judgment and back into being present. It doesn’t mean you have to be the villain or are the villain. It’s the willingness to allow the other person to have their point of view, without making it yours.
Then, you can use the Access Consciousness tool:
“Interesting point of view, I have this point of view.”
“Interesting point of view, I have this point of view that they have that point of view.”
Interesting Point of View (or IPOV) is a powerful tool in creating more space and the ability to be present to different perspectives.
Your Perspective Creates Your Reality
So, if your perspective is caught up in judgment of you… say, “ok interesting point of view, I have this point of view that I’m ____ (the worst person ever for acting that way, an awful friend, terrible at my job, etc)” Repeat this a few times to come out of the mental spiral and judgments.
What if it’s all just an interesting point of view and you get to choose your next action, rather than be stuck in reaction?
Try it out and let me know how it goes ♥️
To willingness and allowance,