If you're anything like me, you have tried for a long time to create what you would like to have in life through force, effort, and a lot of self-judgment.
When I was in my late teens and early 20's I was about 150 lbs larger than I am now. Endlessly criticizing myself seemed normal and I used the logic that if I thought my body was bad enough then I could get myself to do something different.
Turns out that is not how I ended up losing weight, which actually started unintentionally.
Also, as I went through school I would do pretty well academically, but it was always an intense struggle. I would berate myself for procrastinating, getting distracted too easily, being too shy, not "being normal"... all while just trying to get myself to do the damn thing and make some friends.
Apparently, you can't berate yourself into creating a thriving happy life...
you can't judge yourself into perfection.
For me, it came with physically burning myself out with all the stress I was putting myself through. I came to realize, I couldn't keep operating the way I was and it clearly wasn't working anyway.
So I finally opened up to a different possibility. I found another way.
There comes a point when you have to give up the fight.
You have to decide and know that you are enough.
And then, the beauty, joy, adventure, and fun becomes possible.
I heard recently a quote from psychologist Carl Rogers,
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change."
It's not always an easy road when you have judged yourself for so long and everyone around you seems to judge themselves too.
It's normal to connect with people by complaining about something. You know you're normal when something is going wrong.
But what if it's time to settle for nothing less than the beautiful life you know is possible?
And what if you create that beautiful life from a space of kindness rather than judgment, having your back rather than comparison and punishment, and through cultivating true intimacy with yourself?
You can and it's possible. It is something I have been cultivating for myself and what I would love to invite you into.
What if, no matter what, you knew you could always come back to the deepest love and kindness you've ever known...yours?